Our Cultural Obsession with Achievement

I’ll be honest with you. The blog I wrote for this week’s newsletter (here) was unusually soul crushing.

It’s not that the content wasn’t good (it’s poignant), or resonant with my own personal experience (it is), or that I don’t have expertise on the subject (I do); it’s the fact that writing it did not make my heart sing in the ways it craves to right now.

I felt edited down, diluted, rote and censored in order to fit an ideal – in order to appease norms I’ve bought into even if I don’t agree with them.

By playing within this construct and not sharing my voice fully I play small. Not as opposed to playing big – as opposed to playing fully me. And here is where today’s topic comes in.

We have glorified and sanctified quantity in life over real quality. If you do not self-identify as a high achiever having grand plans you are most likely left out of the ring.

Even if it is just an issue of diction, our apparent obsession with “high achievement” is stifling to creative flow, genuine connection and radical authenticity. How can I be good when I’m fixated on being great? And who defines my greatness but me?

Just ask any number of today’s millennials suffering career paralysis because they’ve been conditioned to value unrealistic grandness – notoriety, fame and a Steve Jobs-esque trajectory.

It’s Not About the Size of Your Dream

…it’s about the quality of your momentum towards it.

How many times have I explained myself at a cocktail party, immediately sensing the relative inadequacy of what I value simply because it didn’t fit the paradigm present in the room? And how much of that sense of inadequacy had nothing to do with the room but with a cultural expectation to do and be great things? And how often did I manipulate my tune to fit (conform) or fight (rebel)?

By the time I was 23 I had played that game all the way in and all the way out until I threw in the towel. I high-achieved and over-extended myself in every direction. But conquering mountain peak after mountain peak did not help get me closer to everlasting comfort in my true voice. It did not humble me to the magic of human existence and the substance of human connection.

What high achieving did, for the sake of high achieving, is it sidelined the unconventional, outspoken, fierce and whimsical nature of my character. It drove me to construct a persona that served everyone else but me. And it paralyzed me.

Stand for Something

While we need not get caught up in grand visions, elaborate end games and unicorn exits in order to enjoy a satisfying and successful life, we do need to hone in on our integrity. I often think back to a time I refer to as “before my light went out” in order to reconnect with what fuels my fire and drives my curiosity.

The substance you find there when you venture back into your childlike wonder and youthful convictions is the true nature of your soul – and if you can keep that engaged no matter what you do you will create in the direction of your integrity. You will be a person of substance who stands for something. You will be “all in” – literally all the way in your body. You might not play a big game, but you will play a good one.

So pick up a drum, find your own beat and start marching with resonant joy toward what calls you in the deepest pockets of your body and soul – however humble or magnificent it might be to those cheering and jeering from the sidelines.

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Come work with me in Los Angeles! I’m hosting a working session on July 29 from 10a – 3p to help hash out your big idea, build your business with clarity or make your next move. Learn more HERE.