Meaninglessness is the crux of the human condition. And the fall is rarely as deadly as the holding on.

“We’re all in search of an adequate biography.”
– James Hillman, paraphrased

This week I read a passage that made me blush. And no, not in a coy, cute way. In that red hot flushed sort of way that only the hardcore shame of relating can produce. In that, “uh oh, is this me?” sort of way.

It’s a real zinger. Here goes:

“The psychotherapist frequently sees cases of this sort. Such a person considers himself as a most promising individual. He is full of talents and potentialities. One of his complaints is often that his capacities and interests are too wide-ranging. He is cursed with a plethora of riches. He could do anything but can’t decide on one thing in particular. The problem is that he is all promises and no fulfillment. In order to make a real accomplishment he must sacrifice a number of other potentialities… To be something in reality he must give up being everything in potential. The puer aeternus archetype is one of the images of the Self, but to be identified with it means that one never brings any reality to birth.”

I share this with you because it directly correlates to the human experience of meaninglessness.

If we never try, never commit, never declare a path or make a decision – then we will avoid the potential alienation of being wrong or different, and therefore we will avoid feeling that our existence lacks purpose or meaning.

This is what I call existential paralysis. It’s something I know personally and it is what compels me to continue helping people break free from the current cycle of their life… circling the drain but never going down. Never dropping into that wild dark unknowable ride that is built on faith and action (NOT data and reason).

How does this sentence feel inside your body: “In order to make a real accomplishment [you] must sacrifice a number of other potentialities.”

For me, it lands like lead. It makes my stomach a little queasy and my arms go weak.

What if what I pick deprives me of other things I want? What if I don’t want to be limited? What if I commit and find myself cast out or made wrong for my decision? What if I discover my life has no meaning? But in not choosing a piece of our path to move on for fear we sacrifice the whole unreal vision, we indeed limit ourselves – we stay out of the game of life entirely.

Purpose is the opposite of meaninglessness. And in order to experience that sensation of purpose (yes, it’s a feeling in the body) we must risk feeling utterly devoid of meaning.

It’s an initiation, a walk through the fire. You’re supposed to feel that way at some point.

The experience of meaninglessness is the absolute Achilles heel of humanity. It draws us down into depression. It perpetuates avoidance and addiction. It Velcro’s us to mediocre circumstance because, hey, it’s better than the terror of not knowing.

So what cliff’s edge are you clinging to with white and bloody knuckles because you’ve forgotten you have wings? The fall is rarely as deadly as the hanging on.

I’d love to hear from you if you can relate.

Erika

*Excerpt from Ego and Archetype by Edward F Edinger